Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is often misunderstood by those on the outside looking in. To the untrained eye, it may seem like a chaotic struggle, two people wrestling, trying to overpower each other. But ask anyone who has spent time on the mat, and they’ll tell you that BJJ is much more than just fighting. It’s an art, a lifestyle, and a practice that challenges the mind and body in ways most people can’t even imagine. For many years I thought of Jiu-Jitsu as just a way for someone to defend themselves if the fight ended up on the ground, but the longer I practiced Jiu-Jitsu, the more my mindset changed. As just a Krav Maga practitioner and stand up fighter my options were pretty limited when it came to self-defense. If I had to defend myself, I really couldn’t do it without causing a lot of harm to my assailant. And though I do believe that sometimes there is no other way, it is beautiful to have acquired a skill-set like Jiu-Jitsu that allows me to control someone, put them in a choke, render them unconscious, and then be able to walk away without either of us really being harmed. This is more in line with my values and is incredibly empowering!
At The Balanced Man retreat we introduce men to this art form, as a lot of guys that attend have never tried it before, and its fascinating how many guys go home and join a local gym after. They quickly realize that BJJ isn’t just about learning how to defend yourself, it’s about mastering a language, one that reshapes the way you view challenges in every part of your life.
It's often said that BJJ is a “human chess match” because every move is deliberate, every grip strategic, and every submission an opportunity to learn. No one gets a lucky submission. It’s all about skill, precision, and patience. And that’s what makes it so beautiful.
The Beauty in the Struggle
What sets Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu apart from other martial arts is that it’s a constant reminder that strength alone isn’t enough. Technique always triumphs over raw power. Imagine walking into a gym with no experience, only to be effortlessly dominated by someone half your size. The experience can be humbling, no matter how strong or tough you think you are, BJJ will expose your weaknesses.
But this isn’t about losing. It’s about learning. Each roll, each match is an opportunity to get better. Like life, it doesn’t give you the easy way out. You have to work through the discomfort, the frustration, and the exhaustion. But once you do, the rewards are unparalleled.
BJJ isn’t just about learning how to fight; it’s about learning how to adapt. On the mat, you’re forced to stay calm under pressure. You’re constantly challenged to think ahead, to anticipate your opponent’s next move, and to react with precision. In a sense, the struggle on the mat mirrors the struggles in life. When you’re faced with obstacles, you don’t back down—you adjust, you strategize, and you keep moving forward.
A Language for Life
One of the most fascinating aspects of BJJ is the way it shapes your mind. It’s not just a sport; it’s a language, and like any language, it takes time to become fluent. The more you practice, the more your understanding deepens. And just like learning a new language, the journey is gradual. You start as a beginner, barely able to grasp the basics. But over time, piece by piece, the art of BJJ becomes second nature.
This “language” extends far beyond the gym. The principles you learn on the mat, patience, adaptability, and resilience, carry over into your everyday life. Whether you’re facing a tough situation at work, a difficult conversation with a loved one, or even personal struggles, the mindset you develop through BJJ helps you approach these challenges with a calm and focused attitude.
Every time you step onto the mat, you’re practicing one of the most difficult things anyone can do, confronting your own limits. And in doing so, you’re strengthening more than just your body, you’re strengthening your mind, your discipline, and your character.
Humility Through Mastery
One of the biggest misconceptions about BJJ, or any martial art for that matter, is that it’s just about fighting or being “tough.” But anyone who practices BJJ knows that it’s actually about humility. No matter how skilled you are, there’s always someone better. The moment you think you’ve mastered it, BJJ has a way of humbling you, reminding you that there’s always more to learn.
This humility isn’t a weakness. In fact, it’s what makes BJJ practitioners stronger. On the mat, you’re constantly being tested. You lose. You fail. You get caught in submissions. But instead of walking away defeated, you walk away with a lesson. You reflect, you adjust, and you come back stronger.
BJJ forces you to face your ego head-on. There’s no room for arrogance when you’re consistently challenged. It teaches you to respect not only your opponents but also yourself. You learn to respect the process, to respect the journey, and to respect the art itself.
For those who train regularly, BJJ becomes more than just an activity—it becomes a way of life. When you’re on the mat, you’re not just fighting your opponent; you’re fighting yourself. You’re pushing past your limits, both physically and mentally. Every time you roll, you’re testing your ability to stay calm, to think under pressure, and to maintain control even when things don’t go your way.
In many ways, BJJ gives you a superpower that extends far beyond the gym. It teaches you how to navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience. When life throws you into difficult situations, BJJ teaches you not to panic. Instead, you stay composed, assess your options, and take calculated action.
It’s like swimming. If you don’t know how to swim and you fall into the deep end, you’ll drown. But if you’ve trained, if you’ve prepared, you’ll stay calm and swim your way to safety. The same goes for life. If you’re unprepared for adversity, you’ll struggle. But if you’ve built your resilience through something like BJJ, you’ll know how to handle it.
A Brotherhood on the Mat
Perhaps one of the most rewarding aspects of BJJ is the community it fosters. The bonds you build with your training partners go far beyond the mat. There’s a mutual respect that develops between people who are willing to push themselves and each other to the limit. You’re all on the same journey, learning, failing, and growing together.
This sense of camaraderie is rare. It’s not just about fighting, it’s about learning, supporting, and growing with one another. The gym becomes a second home, and your training partners become family. Together, you experience the highs and lows of the journey, and that shared experience is what makes the bond so strong.
At its core, BJJ is much more than a sport or a martial art, it’s a lifestyle. It’s about challenging yourself, physically and mentally, every single day. It’s about humility, respect, and personal growth. And once you’ve experienced it, it’s hard to let go. The lessons you learn on the mat shape the way you live your life. You start to approach challenges differently. You become more patient, more resilient, and more adaptable.
BJJ teaches you that the real fight isn’t with your opponent—it’s with yourself. It’s about overcoming your own limitations, your own doubts, and your own fears. And the beauty of the sport is that it’s a lifelong journey. There’s always more to learn, more to experience, and more ways to grow.
Written By
Terry Bullman
Terry is the Co-Founder of The Balanced Man, and is dedicated to fostering brotherhood and guiding men towards emotional resilience, balance, and strength in their daily lives.
