Why Surrounding Yourself With Strong Men is Non-Negotiable for Growth

August 10, 2024

As you get older, the need for strong relationships becomes clear. Your circle either raises your standards or lets you slip into mediocrity.

If you want to live with character, strength, and purpose, you have to be intentional about who you spend time with.

A strong man isn’t just someone who hits the gym or crushes it at work. He lives with integrity, holds himself to a higher standard, and shows up consistently—even when no one’s watching.

But here's the reality: this process isn’t automatic.

Who are the men you spend the most time with?
Are they lifting you up, or are they holding you back?
Do they hold you accountable and inspire you to grow?

Tough Conversations Shape Character

A man’s true character shows in adversity.

It’s easy to be agreeable when everything is smooth. But real growth happens when you’re forced to face hard truths.

Strong men don’t avoid tough conversations. They ask the difficult questions that challenge your beliefs and decisions, even when it's uncomfortable.

Growth isn’t about comfort. It's about confronting what you’d rather not face.

Real men push each other to grow by telling you what you need to hear, not what’s easy to say.

This showed it’s self the other day with one of my best friends and business partners, the details of the conversation are unimportant, but the message is. I noticed my him getting very upset over a very minor issue and by all means he has the right to express his frustrations, but for how long?

When does complaining non-stop simply turn into a pity party, at what point to do you take responsibility for the situation?

And that’s when I asked him “Are you done?”. The question wasn’t because he was annoying me in that moment, it was asked because I know who he wants to be in tough situations and this wasn’t it.

He initially pushed back on me, expressing that he never gets to be frustrated and upset around other people. And its his responds and pushback, that holds men back from asking the tough questions.

It’s the fear of conflict. The fear of not being able to hold the situation.

That he’s not going to like me anymore.

I wasn’t looking to fight with him.

But I was looking to hold him to a standard of being I know he wants in his life and I simply held the space from that place and expressed that to him in a non-confrontational way.

It took a few minutes and I’m sure we made our wives a bit uncomfortable in the process, but there was no question in my mind that it was going to make us stronger.

And I can assure you it did.

Just that simply question and uncomfortable conversation built a deeper level of trust between us that is unbreakable and he knows I have his best interest at heart.

And I know he will keep me accountable when I step out of character.

Accountability is the Path to Growth

Without accountability, growth is impossible.

Strong men follow through on their word. They don’t just talk about change—they make it happen. They expect the same from you and call you out when you fall short. Not to judge you, but to support you.

Accountability forces you to own your decisions and actions.

Strong men see the potential in you, even when you don’t. They won’t let you settle.

When you’re held accountable by men you respect, your behavior changes. You live more intentionally because your actions affect not just you, but your entire circle.

Challenge Breeds Strength

Without challenge, men grow weak.

Comfort is dangerous—it keeps you from pushing your limits. Strong men thrive on challenge, and they expect the same from you. Whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth, these men push you to be better.

Challenge is the only path to growth. Complacency is the enemy of progress.
If you're not being challenged, you’re stagnating.

Are the men around you pushing you to your limits? If not, it’s time to rethink your circle.

Strong Men Create Strong Standards

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

If the men around you aren’t raising your standards, you’re likely lowering yourself to theirs. Strong men demand more from life—not just for themselves but for everyone around them.

Strong standards create strong men. Without them, you fall into mediocrity.

When surrounded by men who hold themselves to high standards, you naturally rise to that level.

Ask yourself: Who in your circle is raising your standards? Are you surrounded by men who inspire you to grow, or are you comfortable slipping into habits that don’t serve you?

Mutual Respect Fuels Growth

Strong men respect more than physical strength. They value mental, emotional, and spiritual strength. They respect discipline, integrity, and the courage to stand up for your values.

But respect goes both ways.

If you want to be respected, start by respecting yourself. Live by your values, push yourself, and refuse to settle for less.
Respect grows when you challenge yourself and those around you to live with purpose.

Self respect starts with the way you talk to yourself, if you are always beating up on yourself, telling yourself that your not good enough, you’ll let other people do the same to you. The quickest way to get respect from others, is to respect yourself first.

How to Build Your Circle

If you’re realizing that you don’t have the kind of men in your life who push you to grow, it’s time to find your tribe. But finding strong men isn’t accidental.

You have to seek out places where growth, challenge, and integrity are valued.

The gym is a great start, but don’t stop there—join a men’s group, attend events, and find masterminds where excellence is the goal.

This is about more than just friendship. It’s about building a brotherhood of men who share your values and are committed to becoming the best version of themselves.