How to Start a Men's Group That Will Thrive

How to Start a Men's Group That Will Thrive

Starting a men’s group can be one of the most transformative steps you take toward personal growth, connection, and accountability. But it’s not as simple as gathering a few friends and talking. A successful men’s group requires intention, structure, and commitment.

It’s a space where men can push each other to grow, hold one another accountable, and develop deeper connections through meaningful conversations.

I’ve been apart of a number of men’s groups and masterminds that have been very powerful and help me grow immensely. I’ve also been apart of groups that started out strong and lost momentum, because some people in the group didn’t have the ability to step out of their victim hood and grow with the others. And that can be unfortunate.

That’s why its important if you are considering starting a men’s group, you keep a few of these things in mind and hopefully it helps you to navigate the process.

We’ll cover the most important elements first and what to watch out for, to avoid common pitfalls.

Key Elements for a Successful Men’s Group:

1. Find Like-Minded Men

The foundation of any strong men’s group is the men themselves. You want to surround yourself with men who are committed to personal growth and who are willing to show up fully. These don’t have to be men you agree with on everything. In fact, having diverse perspectives can be powerful, but they should share the same intention for growth and development.

‍Things to think about: Who in your life inspires you to grow? Who challenges you to be better, not by pushing you down, but by lifting you up? Consider the men you’ve surrounded yourself with—are they aligned with the direction you want your life to go?

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2. Establish a Clear Purpose
A group without a clear purpose is bound to drift. You need to define the mission or intention of your group right from the start. Is the focus on accountability? Personal development? Brotherhood? Shadow work? Relationships? Whatever it is, everyone in the group needs to be aligned on the group’s purpose.

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Things to think about: What is the most important thing you want to get out of this group? How can the purpose of the group serve not only you but the collective growth of all members? Are you willing to fully commit to the group’s mission, even when it gets uncomfortable?

3. Create Rules of Engagement
Every successful men’s group needs a clear set of rules that everyone follows. These “rules of engagement” help maintain the integrity and structure of the group. For example, one essential rule is: No advice unless asked for.

This ensures that conversations are respectful and productive, allowing each man to be fully heard before offering solutions. Other important rules might include: showing up on time, not discussing other men’s stories outside the group, and giving your full attention during meetings. These rules help maintain trust and commitment.

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Things to think about: What boundaries and guidelines do you need to feel safe and respected in this group? Are you willing to uphold these rules, not just for yourself, but for the well-being of the entire group?

4. Open to Feedback
The core of a men’s group is the ability to give and receive honest feedback. Growth comes from hearing hard truths, and you need men who are willing to be vulnerable enough to receive it and strong enough to give it. This isn’t about tearing each other down, but about calling each other forward into the men you want to become.

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Things to think about: How do you handle feedback? Do you shy away from it or embrace it? What’s one area of your life where you could benefit from honest feedback, even if it’s hard to hear?

5. Consistency is Key
A men’s group thrives on consistency. It’s not about meeting once in a while and catching up. It’s about showing up, week after week, and being fully present for yourself and the other men in the group. The men you invite should be reliable—committed to attending regularly and engaging meaningfully. Without consistency, the group loses its effectiveness.

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Things to think about: Are you ready to commit to showing up fully, not just for yourself but for the other men in the group? How would your life change if you had a consistent space for personal growth and accountability?

What to Watch Out For

As I mentioned earlier, men's groups and master minds are great, but if you don't manage the items below, things can go south very quickly.

1. Lack of Leadership
One of the biggest pitfalls for any men’s group is the absence of clear leadership. If no one is taking responsibility for moderating or structuring the meetings, things can quickly fall apart. This doesn’t mean one man has to run the show every time, but you need a rotating role for moderators who ensure that meetings stay on track.
Without leadership, discussions can become aimless, and the group may lose focus. Establish clear roles for each man and rotate responsibilities so everyone contributes.

2. Over-Structuring vs. Under-Structuring
Striking the right balance between structure and flexibility is crucial. Too much structure—where every minute of the meeting is accounted for—can make the group feel rigid and impersonal. On the other hand, no structure at all can turn the meetings into casual hangouts where real growth rarely happens.
You need a framework that provides structure but also leaves room for organic conversation and the unknown. This could look like starting with breathwork or a guided meditation, followed by check-ins and a topic for discussion, while leaving room for flexibility based on what the group needs at the time.

3. Victim Mindset
A men’s group can quickly lose its effectiveness if it becomes a space for men to wallow in victimhood. While it’s important to allow space for men to share their struggles, it’s equally important that the group challenges any man who is stuck in a victim mindset.
The goal is to help each other grow, and that means calling each other forward—out of blame and into ownership. If men in the group are not held accountable for their actions, the group will lose its power to create meaningful change.

4. Lack of Accountability
While the group’s intention may not be solely focused on accountability, some level of it is necessary. Men need to feel supported and pushed to follow through on their commitments—whether that’s personal growth, relationships, or career goals.
However, be cautious of turning the group into an “accountability group” only. If the group becomes too rigid, with a sole focus on checking boxes, it will lose the depth and connection that makes it special. Find a balance that allows for accountability while still focusing on deeper, more personal work.

Building a Strong Brotherhood

Starting a men’s group isn’t just about getting together with your friends. It’s about building a brotherhood that challenges you to grow into the man you’re meant to be. It’s about surrounding yourself with men who hold you to a higher standard, who will tell you the hard truths, and who are committed to your personal growth as much as their own.

When you create a space where men feel safe to be vulnerable, where feedback is given with love, and where each man is held accountable, you’ll have a group that not only thrives but transforms lives.

Ready to take things to the next level? The Balanced Man Retreat is where a group of guys come together to grow, challenge themselves, and connect on a deeper level. It’s not just about pushing your limits—it’s about finding your tribe and leveling up in every area of life.

If this sounds like something you’re into, we’ve got spots open for the upcoming retreat. No pressure, but if you’re serious about making real changes and being part of a solid group of men, this is your chance.

Look forward to connecting with you on our next retreat in Nosara, Costa Rica.