The Stories We Tell Ourselves

They always start out with good intentions, but these good intentions form into little white lies that hurt us in the long run.

We all tell ourselves stories about the progress we’re making on our goals.

These stories often sound good, but they don’t always align with reality.

Why do we do this?

Do we tell these stories for our own benefit or for the people around us to convince ourselves we are on track? Either way they only take us off course in the end.

Some of these might sound familiar:

• We want to get in better shape, we might say we’re exercising regularly, but really our weekly effort often falls short of any meaningful consistency to make any real change.
• We want to improve our focus, we might claim to be working on minimizing distractions, but we still check our phone or email every few minutes and are stuck in the same old patterns.
• We want to develop a new skill or learn a new language, we might say we’re practicing often, but in truth, we’re prioritizing social media or Netflix over our effort.

We soften these inconsistencies with phrases like, “I’m doing my best, but I’m so busy,” or, “I’m making progress slowly but surely.”

While these statements may feel comforting, they often lack measurable truth. They are excuses in disguise, ones we’ve all used to justify where we are versus where we want to be.

Why do these stories matter? It’s not like we are stealing from somebody?

But are we stealing from ourselves when we stretch the truth, losing trust with the one person we need it most, ourselves.

These stories block us from our own self-awareness. While emotions and feelings are important, they can distort our view when used as our only metric.

Without hard facts, we remain stuck in cycles of unproductive effort and rationalization.

We need to have something to hold us accountable, so with hard evidence we are moving in the right direction and not letting ourselves off the hook with the stories of what we think we are doing. We can use tools in our own lives to remove the guesswork and get an objective understanding of where we stand.

There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.

Aldous Huxley

Tools for Building Self-Awareness

If you’re serious about achieving meaningful progress, the first step is to know, clearly and concretely where you are right now. Self-awareness is the foundation of self-improvement.

Here are some tools you can use to maintain clarity and measure progress:

Weekly Reflection Practice

Each Sunday, take 30 minutes to reflect on your week. Evaluate what went well, where you fell short, and what adjustments you need to make. This practice has been transformative for aligning my actions with my values. It’s not about beating yourself up for mistakes, it’s about being honest with yourself so you can grow.

Habit Tracking Journal

This one has helped me be the most consistent, I’ve used a habit tracker to measure daily actions that align with my goals. Whether it’s journaling, meditation, or specific workout routines, seeing my actions on paper gives me undeniable feedback. It’s really not about being perfect, because if you are doing it perfectly all the time it might not be stretching you.

It’s about seeing the patterns.

Did I show up consistently this week? If not what was different.

Did I do better than last month? The journal doesn’t lie, and that honesty helps me course correct when needed.

Time Tracking Apps

Something new I’m starting to add, time tracking software to see exactly where my hours go. I once thought I was productive for most of my day, but the truth is tracking showed me how much time I lost to mindless browsing, unscheduled calls or low priority tasks.

Knowing where my time actually goes allows me to make the changes and prioritize what truly matters.

Less time working and more time surfing!

Why Measurement Matters

If you don’t know where you stand, it’s nearly impossible to make meaningful changes. Trying to build better habits without measuring your actions is like driving without a map. And there is no doubt it is fun to just drive and explore sometimes, but its hard to get to the destination you desire when you do it all the time.

You might feel like you’re moving, but you have no idea if you’re heading in the right direction.

Most people who excel in specific areas didn’t get there by chance.

They measured and adjusted until their habits became second nature. If someone with a healthy relationship with food likely spent time weighing portions or counting calories early on. Over time, their awareness allowed them to move from measuring to intuitive eating, but that intuition was built on a foundation of measurement.

When you measure, you align your perception with reality. From there, you can trust your instincts even deeper because they’re grounded in actual data.

The stories we tell ourselves can either hold us back or propel us forward. If you want to make real progress, start by being honest with yourself.

Use tools to track your actions, reflect regularly, and measure your results.

Self-awareness isn’t about judgment, it’s about clarity. And clarity is the first step toward lasting change.

So, ask yourself,  are you telling yourself stories, or are you facing the truth?

The choice is yours, and the results will follow.

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