When Did You Stop Playing? The Silent Weight Men Carry

We just wrapped up our February retreat here in Costa Rica and it was so apparent as men how we take on the weight of the world. Society asks us to show up in so many ways, except for the one that fills us up so much.

Being a kid!

Somewhere along the way, life got serious.

Careers. Bills. Responsibilities.

We traded curiosity for certainty. Adventure for routine. Play for productivity. And without even realizing it, we started carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.

At some point, being a kid wasn’t an option anymore. But what if losing that part of ourselves is the very thing holding us back?

When Did Life Become A Job

Remember when you were a kid and trying something new was exciting? Failing wasn’t even a thought. Falling off your bike? You got back up.

Missing a shot in basketball? You took another. Play was the default setting. Running, jumping and getting bruised up.

Now?

Most men wouldn’t be caught dead trying something they might not be good at.

“I don’t have time for that.”

“What’s the point?”

“I’d probably suck at it anyway.”

And so, we settle. We grind. We become rigid.

We stop exploring new things, not because we can’t, but because we’re afraid of looking foolish. Or we have gotten so out of the routine of allowing ourselves to play that we forgot the joy it brings to our life.

And when you stop playing, you stop feeding your soul.

This is why physical activity is such a big part of The Balanced Man retreats, it helps us remember how charged we get when we move our bodies, even if we aren’t great at it. Open ocean swim, boxing, jujitsu, hiking and even surfing. We get to be kids again and feel that joy from pushing our bodies to its edges, something we might not have felt in years.

You Weren’t Meant to Carry It All

The world teaches men that success means responsibility.

Be the provider. Be the leader. Be the one who has it all figured out.

But nowhere in the rulebook does it say you have to stop playing.

Play isn’t just for kids. It’s the secret to staying flexible, creative, and engaged with life. It’s how we keep our minds sharp and our spirits light.

And it’s not about going on a bender with the boys for a night and calling it “fun.” I’m talking about something that fills you up.

It’s about finding that thing that makes you lose track of time. Something that makes you feel fully alive again.

Something where success and failure don’t even matter, because the act of doing it is the reward.

For me I’ve found it again in surfing and basketball. And doing it with a group of guys that I truly appreciate being around, where the competitive juices can flow and we can push each other to grow.

Why Play is the Ultimate Reset

When you reintroduce play into your life, everything shifts:

1. You stop taking life so seriously. Stress doesn’t hit as hard when you remember that joy is an option. You now have an outlet to move that energy.
2. You gain energy instead of just managing it. You don’t need another cup of coffee. You need an outlet that lights you up.
3. You start seeing challenges differently. Life becomes less about avoiding failure and more about enjoying the process.

Think about the last time you did something just for the fun of it. Something that made you laugh, made you sweat, made you forget to check your phone.

If you can’t remember, it’s been too long.

So, how do you break the cycle of stress, rigidity, and burnout?

You start small.

Find an activity that excites you, something you’ve always wanted to try or an activity you loved doing as a kid.

Once you’ve identified it, schedule it like it matters, because it does.

If you don’t carve out the time, life will fill the space with obligations and an endless do to list.

Come at it without pressure or expectations, just pure curiosity.

And above all let go of the need to be good. No one is watching. You’re not training for the Olympics. You’re doing this because it makes you feel alive.

If you keep doing it consistently for the fun of it, you'll naturally get better because you love doing it.

So if you’re feeling burnt out, uninspired, or stuck in the same routine, this might be the reset you need.

Go be a kid again. Find something that excites you. Try something new. Play.

The weight of the world can wait.